U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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