I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
a search helicopter?!
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
