i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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