Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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