Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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