when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
