she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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