We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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