so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
