What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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