So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
