New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
