Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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