I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
This toilet bowl is my home.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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