Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Damn victory sex feels great
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
