I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
