Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
