butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
People in love make me want to vomit
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
