I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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