She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
