also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
