just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
