singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
