alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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