fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
