You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
