And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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