Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
