I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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