she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
do herpes really smell.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
