I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
