you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
