All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I am available for nakedness
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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