I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
