You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
