shes about as inviting as chlamydia
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
