Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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