Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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