so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
