he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
