..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
