my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
