Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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