I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
