Is it normal to miss your booty call?
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
