sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
