she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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