sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
