I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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