im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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