I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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