please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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